Top 10 Top 10 Lists for August 2008

If I've learned one thing from the internet, it's that people love lists. That includes bloggers! It gets them a lot of traffic without having to write any actual content. It's filler. (High Fidelity's Rob Gordon was ahead of his time - he just needed a computer and a copy of Wordpress!)

I've got a few lists of my own in the works to pass the time in between real posts. To start out, here's a meta-list of some of my favorite top 10 (or 5, or 20) lists currently circulating.

1. 16 films featuring "Manic Pixie Dream Girls". Nathan Rabin is quoted in this list as having said these characters "exist solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors" - but seriously, at that age I knew probably a half dozen girls exactly like Natalie Portman's character in Garden State. Maybe it's a Jersey thing. (Kinda the point of the movie!)

2. The 5 greatest things ever accomplished while high. Drug-induced lists are a sure bet for internet traffic. This one will actually surprise you. These accomplishments involve more than just making it to the 7-11 and back for a bag of Tostitos and salsa.

3. 10 mispronunciations that make you sound stupid. One of them favored by our current president. That follows, I guess.

4. The 20 best stoner movies of all time. And he gets it right! At least at the very top of the list.

5. 15 haunting ruins of war. I've never been to any of these places, but the photos alone have their own power.

6. 10 fun, MPG-friendly cars you can't buy in America - yet. Unfortunately, no Nissan Cube on the list - though that'll be coming here in electric form in a few years. (By which time its styling will probably no longer look so cute.)

7. 5 popular women's styles that men hate. Right on! Ladies, I'm posting this for informational purposes. It's all true. And I'll add one more: oversize, waistless dresses. You know the ones - they look like a maternity dress on anyone who's not a size zero (and even on some women that are). Seem to be all the rage these days. So not hot!

8. Top 16 1980's cartoon villains. With video! I can do a mean Dr. Claw impression. Want to hear it?

9. 10 fascinating facts about the ancient Olympic games. You may have known that the ancient Greeks competed in the nude. But did you know that the prudes (and perhaps the well-endowed) wore penis restraints?

10. Top 10 entries on video game top 10 lists. Whoa! Meta-meta! I think I just blew my mind.

Anyway, the tone of this one isn't quite right - the reason most of these things appear on so many video game top 10 lists is because video game "journalists" all copy each other. How else do you explain the long-forgotten "Link: the Faces of Evil" for Philips CD-i turning up so often in feature stories? I can guarantee most of the gaming press has never even played it. But no, the writer here thinks it's all coincidence. Still, it's funny to read and realize just how single-minded the western gaming press collectively is.

Someday I'm going to collect all these top ten lists that I find into a book. In fact, I'm copyrighting that idea right now! By now, I could probably fill up about 500 pages, all without having to write any real content of my own.